A World Beyond Monogamy will be published on 14 February 2022. Four years in the making, it sets out to be a comprehensive guide to consensual non-monogamy and share ideas for non-monogamous and monogamous people alike about how to deepen intimacy and connection within their relationships.
The book rests on some 60 interviews, mostly with people practicing consensual non-monogamy, but also with psychologists, social psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, philosophers, primatologists, historians and more. The contributors come from every continent, many are people of colour, while queer and trans people are also well represented.
Collectively they guide us through the many different forms that consensual non-monogamy takes; monogamish, open relationships, swinging, the many forms of polyamory (hierarchical, the various polygons, kitchen table, solo- etc.) and relationship anarchy.
A World Beyond Monogamy doesn’t suggest a ‘right’ way to do CNM but does examine many of the challenges faced by people looking to explore relationships outside the mainstreams. Some, like prejudice and legal issues are the consequences of living in societies where the monogamous norm is rarely questioned. Others, like navigating the dynamics involved in dating an existing couple or dealing with metamours can be quite specific to different styles of CNM. While handling the emotions that often get stirred up by CNM; jealousy, insecurity, anxiety among them, is a very personal albeit widely shared issue.
The book also explored the skills that consensually non-monogamous people find they have to develop in order to make their relationships work. But, here’s a central point of the book; learning to communicate, negotiate and to be prepared to design your relationships to suit you and those you love isn’t just relevant to non-monogamous people. Even for those of us who are happy to be romantically and sexually involved with just one chosen person, better communication and negotiation skills can elevate our relationships. Consensually non-monogamous people have shown you don’t have to follow the rules to be happy and fulfilled in your relationships – so why settle for an off-the-peg number when you can design your relationship to suit you?
A World Beyond Monogamy is a big book; over 550 pages of experiences, thoughts and advice from people from the US and Canada, the UK and Europe, Latin America, the Middle East and Africa, India, China and South East Asia. Together they show that there is A World Beyond Monogamy and that it’s calling on you to explore it.